I'm going to just say it how it is: Roman is my ground.

As I've been reflecting, soul searching mid-life crisis-ing, and trying to find my feet on solid ground I've realized so clearly how much I've needed Roman.

When I became pregnant with my second sweet boy, I didn't feel ready. I did not feel we needed another person in our family yet... I felt "busy enough" with Oliver and trying to figure out how to deal with a toddler. By the time I was well into my 3rd trimester I was still worried about how I would accept this new baby into our family and love him as much as I loved Oliver (now I can see I love them equally the same... but different - because they are different people and they complete me in different ways).

And the second I held him for the first time, that all changed. This past year has been a whirlwind of emotions for me. So many things in my life have felt so disoriented and out of place.

I've complained a lot.
Certainly compared too much.
Harbored feelings of jealousy.
Spent days feeling sad and sorry for myself.
Eaten my feelings (so.many.feelings)
Felt confused.
Frustrated with God.

We moved from Rexburg last August and let's be honest, it was a gigantic leap of faith. One that I feel like we've just barely landed, but the ground is so soft still I'm afraid of the earth crumbling below my feet.

And every time I have been frustrated or felt crazy trying to wrangle a busy toddler... Roman has been there. He has relaxed and calmed my spirit and soul in a way that nobody else can. He reminds me to have more grace and compassion with Oliver. and Peter. and myself.

And I'm so, so grateful for his cries for me in the middle of the night. The way he puts his arm around my neck and lays his head on my chest. He feels the emotions we feel -- if Oliver or Peter laugh or cry, he will laugh or cry. He is so acutely aware of everyone around him and their emotions.


Easter 2016

You guys. I know, I know. I never blog. I am lucky I remembered how to even log into my account. Ha!

Okay. I'll keep this short and sweet. I only took pictures during one of Oliver's Easter egg hunts, so that's what I'm posting. He had a total of 3: one at a church activity yesterday, one I did for him today, and one this evening at his grandparent's house. I had intentions of putting pennies in the eggs for the hunt I did for him, but I never got around to it (he got plenty of candy, anyways).

For the books {to remember}: Roman woke us up at about 4:30 am, and was ready to be up at 5. Poor babe was congested and so sad. We decided to start getting ready for the day and enjoy our morning. Oliver was able to check out his basket and see the goodies that the Easter Bunny had left for him. We had a satisfying breakfast as a family and finished getting ready for our church service.

After our church meetings, we dyed Easter eggs at home. Typically I like to split all of the eggs evenly among us, and Peter almost always "gives" Oliver and I his eggs so we can decorate them how we want. Today, though, I let Oliver have creative reign over all the eggs (which was slightly difficult to give up considering my personality, haha). But he really enjoyed it. I'm excited for next year when Roman can participate more with Oliver - they are wonderful little buddies.

Later, Oliver had his 2nd (mine) Easter egg hunt. Carma would call out a color and he'd look for that egg. It was really cute and fun to watch him find the egg she had spotted. Shortly after, we had our 15th Annual Easter Egg Roll, and Carma won! She gave the cutest victory dance and it was fun to have her and grandpa up in town to participate. For our egg toss, the egg cracked on Oliver's head. It was a total accident but pretty funny at the same time.

We then headed over to Peter's parent's house for some time with family and Oliver's 3rd easter egg hunt. Man did he get lucky over there! He got some more candy, and a couple of little toys. Between both grandparents he was pretty spoiled at Easter (aren't grandparents the best?!). We are so blessed by both of our parents.

Now. Pictures -- and what perfect timing, Roman is up from -bedtime snooze.


Oliver's Christmas Wish

If you ask Oliver what he wants for Christmas, he'll tell you he wants a Christmas tree and for Santa to visit. Seriously - all he wants is a Christmas tree - so we got him his own this year. In my 5 minutes of "research" I landed upon a cute tree lot that had Santa visiting on Saturday afternoon. I penciled the date in on my calendar and prepped Oliver for two weeks for the big day. The day he could sit on Santa's lap (and hopefully, not cry). We loaded up our kids into our car and drove out to the southwest side of town.  

I really underestimated the weather and so Roman was sadly, very cold and underdressed. Santa had some fun character and showed Oliver a couple of magic tricks. It was still a great little adventure for us, and Oliver found some chickens and a goat roaming the lot. I think we may have found a fun new little tradition.


Fresh From the Garden

Perhaps one of Oliver's favorite new things is eating raspberries fresh from the garden. Ironically, he hated raspberries 6 months ago - now he can't get enough (and can call them raspberries, but typically refers to them as strawberries). 

Boy after my own heart.